Many products used today were discovered by accident: Penicillin, chocolate chip cookies, Viagra, Play Doh… even vibrators.

It’s true! Vibrators were invented in the late 1800’s to treat the (imagined) medical condition of “female hysteria” in women. The machine was used by physicians to induce “hysterical paroxysm” (ie- orgasm) in their patients. (Watch the 2011 movie Hysteria for the hilariously true backstory.)

Fast forward to 1968, and a revolutionary new style of vibrator was born: the wand massager. It too was invented by accident.  Originally intended as a heavy-duty personal massager for stiff muscles, the Hitachi Magic Wand soon became known as the world’s most powerful clitoral stimulator.  During the sex-positive revolution that began in the 1960’s women quickly learned that the Hitachi Magic Wand was excellent at massaging their necks, backs, shoulders… annnnnd their nether bits. Dare I say it friends, the accidental invention of the wand massager is the happiest accident of all time. Oh happy day!

In today’s 21st century sex toy market, there are dozens of massaging wands to choose from—except these versions were all created *on purpose*. They have evolved in size, shape, and material to accommodate their intended function, yet they all resemble the same original design. They all have a long handle-like body and a rounded head that’s attached with a semi-flexible neck. Since there are so many options with extra bells and whistles out there, it’s important to research the different perks and drawbacks of each one before you decide which one to bring home.

So let’s examine the original version first: the Original Magic Wand. It has a rubberized head, which is attached to the main body with a flexible neck.  Unlike most sex toys, it’s not battery powered—you plug it right into a standard 110-Volt outlet, which is where its enormous power comes from. The switch on the main body can alternate between off, 5000 rotations per minute (RPM), and 6000 RPM, or as some may call it: Off, Strong, and STRONGER.

The power cord of the Original Magic Wand is both its gift and its curse. It packs a powerful punch, but if you’re more than 6 feet away from an outlet, you’ll need an extension cord, and that could be too much of a hassle for some folks.  Enter the cordless wand version: the Magic Wand Rechargeable. Along with the convenience of being wireless, it has more settings than the original, with 4 intensity levels and 4 vibration patterns. It can be used cordless or while plugged in to the 7 foot long charging adapter, allowing you to keep using it even after the initial charge wears off. The Magic Wand Rechargeable also has a silicone head, which is a more hygienic alternative to the original rubber. Silicone doesn’t get cracks or micro-tears in it that can harbor harmful bacteria, so silicone sex toys are considered the most “body-safe” option. Because why invite an infection, right?

Your next option is the Miracle Massager. It’s a bit smaller in size, but it packs the same punch as the Original Magic Wand. It has an equally powerful two-speed motor and plugs into any standard US outlet. However, unlike the nearly 12 inch long original body, the Miracle Massager is only 9 inches long in the body, with a curved handle for ease of use. The ergonomically angled shape and EZ grip handle let you focus on the pleasure without any complicated maneuvering. This makes it easier for couples to use as well.

The CalExotics Mini Miracle Massager has a more compact size than traditional massage wand vibrators. This mini wand massager still has a powerful high-speed motor that is situated in the flexible spring-mounted head, but its slim design and small scale make it easy to slip it into your purse or suitcase for powerful pleasure on the go. It has 2 speeds of vibration, controlled by the twist control base. It’s made of phalate-free PVC and measures 7.75 inches in total length. Because it’s battery powered, it obviously isn’t as powerful as the corded or rechargeable options, but it’s great for travel or for women who don’t need as much stimulation to climax.

Next let’s take a look at the Wanachi Mini Mini Wand. As its name would suggest, it’s even smaller. It’s only about 4.5 inches long, small enough to fit in the palm of your hand. It has multiple speeds, a whisper-quiet motor, fully wireless design, waterproof exterior, and a body-safe silicone head. Simply twist the base to adjust the vibration speeds from the lowest to highest speed. Although we would still classify this toy as a wand massager due to its flexible neck and motor in the rounded head, its smaller scale means that it doesn’t pack the same punch as the larger models. It’s perfect for direct clitoral stimulation and for traveling discreetly, but don’t bother trying to massage sore muscles with this guy.

So let’s circle back to the powerhouses, shall we? If you thought that the 5000/6000RPM high speed motor of the Original Magic Wand sounded strong, this next wand massager may just blow your mind: the visionary high-torque motor of the Classic Love Wand and Rechargeable Love Wand delivers a whopping 7000RPM on the lowest setting and 8000RPM on the highest setting. To compare, a high speed washing machine has a max torque of about 1600RPM, so it goes without saying that a 8000RPM motor between your legs is going to bring about intense, earth-shattering, full-body orgasms over and over again. In fact, the Love Wands by Intimate Essentials are often recommended to menopausal women or women with sexual dysfunction issues, because they have the extra oomph that those women need to orgasm. Bottom line, don’t let the purple color fool you, the Love Wands are INTENSE toys.

Both the corded and the cordless version of the Love Wand have easy-to-use controls and 15 vibration patterns and intensities. The head is made of body-safe silicone and the neck is made of phlalate-free ABS plastic. The corded version has a 6 foot long cord that fits any standard US outlet, and the USB rechargeable version has an average charging time of 3 hours for up to 1.5 hours of user time. Neither version is waterproof.

Generally speaking, the more powerful the wand massager is, the louder it’s going to be, so you may want to invest in a thick fluffy comforter to help muffle the sound under the covers. But be warned, some older wand models may overheat after 20 minutes or so (not that you’ll need that long to climax), so be sure to familiarize yourself with the user guides and be sure not to keep it under heavy blankets for too long. It’s best to let it cool off for a half hour or so between uses. And Jesus, let yourself cool down too, damn!

*Pro tip: if you’re feeling extra kinky, give the massaging wand to your partner. A powerful wand massager has the incredible ability to make you orgasm whenever you want, and even when you don’t want. Whaaaat? That’s right. Not only can a good wand massage make you climax in under a minute, but if you’re feeling kinky enough, you can give the wand to your partner and have them use it on you, as orgasm after orgasm washes over you, beyond your control.  Just remember your safe word!

Now that you’re inundated with information about vibrating wand massagers, think about what aspects of the toy are most important to you before you finalize your purchase (intensity, patterns, body-safe materials, waterproof, cordless design, discreet travel, ergonomic curve, noise level, etc.) No matter which option you choose, you can look forward to wave after wave of toe-curling orgasms with your new vibrating wand massager.

Is this real life? Fuck yeah it is!